What’s it gonna take to get what I want? 244 days + perseverance!

When something’s not happening the way we want it to, when what we get is not what we asked for, when someone promises something and doesn’t deliver … argh … what will it take to make this happen?

My answer isn’t the entire answer, it’s a start. It will take a blend of 5 elements to make something happen that wasn’t going to happen without your action. Check this against your experience.

1)     Purpose: a meaningful goal or commitment.
2)     Perseverance: stick-to-it-ness; maintaining a course of action and purpose over time in spite of difficulties or discouragements.
3)     Assessment: ongoing evaluation of what is happening in contrast with the purpose.
4)     Choice: select one course of action over another.
5)     Relationship: working with others to achieve goal.

A word about perseverance: Persevering is not better than not persevering. It’s a matter of commitment and choice.  We know by experience if we only did things when we wanted to or were in the mood, not a lot of what needs to get done would get done. Plus, we’d also have plenty of regrets. I think that when we take actions that match our purpose, and don’t allow our mood or feelings derail us, we experience our innate, powerful self. And that’s a great feeling.

Case in point: Saga of Southwest Airlines t-shirt

This subject of this story is trivial compared to what you are probably dealing with at work: Marketing materials not done for tomorrow’s trade show; profit lost because product expensively shipped overnight due to poor communication; low revenues; rumor mill that breeds low morale.

While the subject may be trivial, the principles are not. They are fundamental to making something happen that wasn’t going to happen if you didn’t take it on. I hope my story will provide some insight and encouragement for you to be at choice to persevere or not.

Here’s my story… June 2010: After reading in SW’s Spirit magazine that a travel tip selected as the Tip-of-the-Month would be awarded a t-shirt, I submitted my tip. In August 2010, a friend on a SWest flight IM’d me a picture of my tip as the Tip-of-the-Month. 

Not only was I published in a national magazine (Sweet! Check that off my bucket list), I’d be receiving a SW t-shirt. I decided to create an iron-on transfer of the tip, put it on the t-shirt, then send a picture of the t-shirt back to SW/Spirit and see what might happen. I was stoked!  Then I had to persevere.

By the numbers
It took me 8 months (October, 2010 to May 2011), 7 phone calls, 1 letter and 1 email to get 1 t-shirt I wanted and 1 mug that I didn’t. During this time, Southwest called me 3 times, sent 2 emails and 1 postcard. The communications with Southwest and Pace Communications, (the company that handles Spirit magazine) included: “we ran out of shirts and had to reorder” to “we ran out again” to “we don’t do t-shirts anymore” to “we have a ton of t-shirts”.

During this 244 day process, I practiced the following skills:

–        Staying on purpose: get the shirt that was promised and have fun with it
–        persevering and not letting “no” stop me
–        assessing and evaluating if I drop it or keep going
–        choose to let go of disappointment (continually)
–        creating relationship, have empathy for people who have little power or authority

I added to my purpose:  Where is my developmental edge to step beyond? What could I learn about communication? What will I learn that will help me be a better coach?

I had multiple opportunities to communicate what I wanted without communicating my upset. In sharing this story with Karen Calcagno (www.advantagefbc.com) who coaches family-owned businesses, she echoed some keys to effective communication:  Don’t make the other person wrong.  Keep your emotions neutral. Speak as an observer of a difficult situation.

Persevering builds our capacity to persevere. Every time we move forward toward our purpose rather than stop because the critic inside our head tells us to, we expand our skill. We need perseverance when our purpose is to have our business succeed in a down economy or our best sales person quit. We need perseverance to keep our kids from joining gangs, eradicate hunger or save our oceans. Pick something that matters to you and persevere.

PS: Note to self: by June 30^th, send a picture of the t-shirt to President SW, with my article on committed speaking and listening; and, please, no follow-up or perseverance.