Our values are one of the key drivers of our performance. They influence the goals we pursue and the methods by which we pursue them. When our values aren’t fulfilled in a way that is meaningful to us, we feel out of sync and literally, under-valued. Our performance shrinks. Understanding what our values mean is the key to making choices about how they influence our behavior.
Case Study: An executive who works for an international research agency had a project to empower women in Turkey. Like a well-trained, seasoned corporate executive, she had a highly-detailed plan with an aggressive timeline and the “fire in the belly” to pull it off. A lot was riding on the success of this project: a possible promotion and deep personal satisfaction of helping women in Turkey, her homeland.
As we explored her values, she identified a core value of ‘belonging’ (generically defined: being accepted as part of the group by people you value). Here’s what she said belonging meant to her:
“It feels great when my friends invite me to dinner or ask my opinion about something. At work, when a peer asks me to attend a meeting outside of my accountability so that I can offer a view they might not have, I feel like they value my opinion and me. The best is when my boss asks me to come to a meeting of his peers and talk about my project and what I am doing. When I am included like this, I feel great and am very productive. When I am not in these meetings, my performance can stall.”
Coaching Outcome Identified: Have this long-held value support, not subvert, her current goal.
In the process of working together, she continued to value ‘belonging’ and learned to trust others more, not by changing her value, but by understanding what it meant to her and changing how it influenced her behavior.
“I used to only really trust people who I knew for a very long time. I was wary of new people who wanted to be my friend too quickly. I would not engage with them easily. I certainly would not ask them for something big. I didn’t want to be turned down: that would mean that they didn’t accept me, and I didn’t belong. Sounds weird now, but that’s how I viewed people and my relationship to them. Don’t get me wrong, I had great relationships, but only a small number that I felt connected to.
“Now, with these insights on my values, my project to empower women in Turkey is taking off big time. I build relationships while making big requests of people. I do not wait to make requests until I think I know them enough. My old way of operating takes way too long and, as I see it now, it isn’t even that effective. The vision I want to accomplish needs to happen sooner, not later. Now, when I share the vision of my project and listen to what others get excited about, our relationship is to the vision, to what it will make possible. In a way, we leave our personalities out of it and talk about possibility. There’s something bigger at stake.
When I am feeling out of sync and under-valued, I see which of my values isn’t being fulfilled the way I want it to and I take action to satisfy it rather than waiting. Not only am I empowering the women of Turkey, I am empowering me.”
This person created a new relationship with a value that served her well in the past so that it doesn’t hinder her future. Understanding our values gives us access to our potential and that, frankly, is invaluable.
Employers: Want your employees to be engaged like this? Need to make the business case for investing in them understanding their values? Listen to my webinar, Values: The Energy Source for Employee Engagement, https://wipcoaching.com/upcoming-events/.
Subscribe
Get Camille's latest posts!
