Bring in the New Year with a big enough WHY?

Ah, the end is near — of the year, that is. A time when we look back and reflect on all that has and hasn’t happened. For the resolutions we achieved, we’ll cheer wildly and thank our lucky stars. For the ones we didn’t, we’ll lament the loss and profess how hard we tried.

As we bid 2011 goodbye and hello to 2012, many of us will bring in the New Year with yet another set of wishes that, by golly, we really are going to accomplish in 2012.  Really.

You name them: we’ll resolve to lose weight, spend more quality time with our loved ones, find a new loved one, reduce our credit card debt, volunteer more, get promoted, be kinder and more forgiving … we’ll resolve stop something and start other things.   We’ll punctuate our proclamations by raising our glass in one hand and crossing our fingers in the other because we’re not so sure we’ll really going to achieve them. Besides, these new resolutions sound a lot like the old ones.  Ah, tradition!

How about we buck tradition, just a bit? Let’s shift from being resolved to being committed to making the unpredictable happen.  To do that, we have to create a Big Enough Why?

A big enough WHY? is something that matters to you, deep-down. It’s the reason you commit to accomplishing what isn’t predictable or easy to do.  Your big enough WHY is more than a nice-to-have for you; it’s a worth-to-have. It’s worth going for, worth spending your time, resources, and energies to achieve.  When you think about it, you light up.

To create your big enough WHY, ask yourself: What is the difference I want to make in the world? Keep asking this question until your answer stirs your heart and inspires you.  Your big enough WHY has a unique meaning to you. You will feel it in your bones. Call it purpose, personal mission or calling. It’s what you say you were put on the planet to contribute.

Here’s what the “big enough” part is about.

• Your WHY has to be compelling enough to you to pull you through the times when it looks like it won’t happen and you want to give up.
• Your WHY has to matter more to you than looking good, being right or protecting your ego.
• Your WHY has to be big enough that you don’t need agreement, approval or permission to go after it.

Everyone’s big enough WHY also comes with a lovely set of companion gifts: setbacks. The bigger the big enough, the bigger the setbacks.

When you take on living your WHY, you will see all the stuff that doesn’t match it.  The good news is that when you take on and transform what doesn’t match your WHY, you’ll be making your WHY more real. You don’t have to ignore the setbacks or wish they weren’t there.  You can use them to make your contribution. Being confronted with stuff that isn’t what we desire and using it to get what we desire is a piece, I think, is missing in our traditional “let’s make resolutions” game.

To create your unique big enough WHY, ask yourself: If I could make anything happen, without the fear of failing, what would that be?  Ask and answer this question several times. Go beyond your first response. You’ll know when you’ve hit the vein of what really matters to you.

I recognize we don’t allow ourselves to imagine, let alone share with others what really matters to us because we are afraid of what they will say: you’re crazy… we tried that before, it didn’t work …you’re a dreamer … wise up… grow up … get real. If they don’t say it to us, we’ll say it to ourselves, shrinking our dreams from inspiring to acceptable and normal and, worse, shrinking ourselves. Recognize this, don’t let it stop you.

To move from being inspired to being in action in an inspired way, you need to create a structure for fulfillment. The design of the structure includes sharing your WHY widely, not being attached to one particular way of achieving it, keeping it in existence, and creating a network of supporters.

Speaking of a network of supporters, I want to give a shout out to Times Publishing Group for the opportunity to connect with you and to you, dear reader. Your comments about how my words benefit you inspire me to keep doing what I do. Contributing to you realizing how great you are is one of my big enough WHYs. I am grateful. Happy New Year!