Generalities aren’t helpful.

Want to be a more effective leader? Want to build trust in a relationship or team?

IF SO … deal in specifics, not generalities,.

Why do specifics matter?

By itself, wanting to be a more effective leader doesn’t increase your effectiveness.   A specific area for increased effectiveness needs to be distinguished, committed to, and followed by specific, focused action.

Telling your team to “be more customer focused” without saying what that means will lead to more ineffectiveness and potentially customer complaints. Asking the team to collaborate more without developing the requisite, advanced skills of possibility-thinking will undoubtedly lead to frustration.

Trust in a relationship isn’t eroded from generalities. Trust is eroded because something specifically happened between two specific people.

IF you want to build trust with someone, you must take specific, corrective action with that person. Saying “I apologize” in your back yard, hoping the wind carries your message to the person you wronged doesn’t cut it. Standing in front of the person proclaiming “There are things I want to apologize for” without saying specifically what you are apologizing for doesn’t cut it.

Regardless of what it is you want to change, develop, or transform, identify specifically what’s missing from the current situation and then intentionally provide it.

You do not lead a general life. 

Your life is specific to you and your commitments … as is your leadership.