There’s an assumption that conflict always involves anger and is always negative. That friction – opposing views, misunderstandings, differences of opinion – between people is to be avoided at all costs.
The trouble is that avoiding friction in our relationships is not cost-free. Avoiding friction often erodes and diminishes the very relationship that we seek to protect.
An alternative to seeing conflict as something that disrupts and destroys relationships is to reframe it as a conduit for authentically understanding ourselves and each other.
Instead, pay attention to friction. It exists to tip you off that something needs to be sorted out. It exists to point you in the direction of your values.
We’re not here to avoid learning who we or others are. We’re here to explore who we are – a big portion of who we are is who we are with others.
Conflict is a feature, not a bug, in being authentically human.
I’d appreciate hearing from you.
Camille
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